FAMILY FINANCES | Splitting the RETIREMENT NEST EGG during a divorce isn't easy.

RETIREMENT plans--whether they be traditional pension plans, cash-balance plans, 401(k)s, IRAs or other tax-deferred accounts--are becoming a key battleground in divorce settlements. "It's amazing how much retirement plans have grown as a proportion of a person's estate," says Martin Shenkman, a New Jersey lawyer and co-author of Divorce Rules for Men (John Wiley & Sons, $14.95). For many couples, these accounts are the most valuable assets to be divided.

Unfortunately, divvying up these assets can be as complicated as it is important, and a simple 50-50 split may make as little sense as dividing your china collection piece by piece.

What's more, if you decide to split a pension or 401(k), you'll need to negotiate a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO), which specifies the alternate payee and how large a share he or she will receive. QDROs can be costly and time-consuming to draw up, but they're the only way to ensure that a plan administrator will follow your instructions. Worse, if you attempt to split a plan without a QDRO, you can trigger disastrous tax consequences. You don't need a QDRO to split an IRA, but to move money tax-free, say, from a husband's IRA to a wife's IRA, the transfer must be required by a divorce decree or other document connected with the divorce.

Pick what's best for you. Once you have a handle on the value of your retirement assets, you and your attorney can decide whether to fight for a share of them or offer to give up your rights to those assets in exchange for others.